my journal

Speaking about toxic, been thinking that all this time if I have relationship with someone, I always felt emotionally over reacted.  My first boyfriend BL, i dunno how many bucket I shed tears (lebay terms)😁  I was worried to death about him, I spent all night crying over and over...  The one that I fell out of my wedlock, IH, I even remember when I just sitting somewhere at Jalan Sudirman nearby my office, just to think about him a lot and shed a tears (hmm... cant remember why I was in the middle of the street over there and what I was doing 😁)  AJ, one day I was crying a lot at the office when I missed him so sooo much😭 Though I really dunno whether I fell for him or not, so confusing coz it was easy for me to forget him & felt nothing afterward. One thing for sure, I idolized him... Actually I just realized there is only one man that never made me sad & upset, he event use to make my laugh, he is my better half, im so grateful for that. He's really my ...

Three days after I went out of town, still no news. That was so irritated hence I decided not to be attached any longer. He was drawing heart from chilly sauce on the plate the day we went to Cikini pool for swim lesson and told me that the Ricola reminds him of me when he was out of town. Time goes by, im so glad that it was not too hard to release all of it. It was just something you expect beyond your imagination in the beginning. All is only an unexpected fortune, the day we met and got strong connection in the aile of a shop.  i know I cry a lot on daily basis, thus I cant manage my feeling everytime I have strong feelings toward someone. But Im so glad everytime I felt that I finally can manage at the end. Coz no matter what happened, only family matters❤️ PS: I feel much better after write this😊